What day is it? I look for my phone,

I know – yesterday was Sunday,

I went to Mass in my dressing gown,

So today – it must be Monday!

Monday my writing group’s on Zoom,

We meet about one thirty,

I host it straight from my living room

But sometimes the screen goes blurry.


Tuesday’s, I talk to my folks in Oz,

On Messenger through my Ipad,

It’s great to see them, just because,

They’re all great and hilariously mad!

Then, I plan the rest of my day,

Should I wash the kitchen floor?

Or, crack open the Tanqueray?

Perhaps, wait until half past four!


Wednesday is the day for the bins,

Dragged out to the cul-de-sac,

I spray them before they come back in,

With Dettol and AntiBac!

For twenty seconds I soap my hands,

Then I do it again, twice more,

Perhaps I’ll learn to do handstands,

Did I wash the kitchen floor?


 I’ll be clapping outside on Thursday’s,

 Along with all of my neighbours,

 Bearing witness with a grand display,

 of thanks, to the brave key workers.

 Did I finish that course on OpenLearn,

 on how to pronounce Mandarin?

 Shall I cut my hair or try a home perm?

 Enough of these shenanigans!!


As Fridays’s nearly the weekend,

I attempt to go out to the shop,

At the Co-op I get my dividend,

wearing a mask made out of old socks.

Home with my bags, dropped by the door,

Ready to be washed in the sink,

I disinfect each surface, even the floor,

Then pour myself a big drink.


On Saturdays, I have a few treats, 

Extra glasses of wine and crisps,

Which explains why I’m not that petite,

The calories go straight to my hips.

I settle down to watch the TV,

Eating a packet of petit fours,

Yet my mind feels some unease,

Did I wash the kitchen floor?


The next day I wake up early,

relieved another week has passed,

I’m grateful for small mercies,

yet wonder how long this will last.

We’re told Sunday is a day of rest,

It’s my favourite day, hands down,

And the thing I like about it best,

Is, I go to Mass in my dressing gown!


Lorraine Weightman

April 27th 2020

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Lorraine Weightman
Lorraine Weightman who regularly writes a monthly memoir telling of her days growing up in Consett has just published 2 books in conjunction with Firefly New Media Uk, which share 24 stories that were originally seen in Consett Magazine over the past few years. https://www.facebook.com/consettstories/


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