The Puddlejumpers

While I was walking into Consett,
My head was in a muddle,
I failed to look down at my feet,
And fell in a deep dark puddle.

I didn’t know just what to do,
As sinking down I went,
I thought my life was ending,
So I started to repent,

Please save me from this awful fate,
I offered up my prayers,
Yet opening up before me,
I spied a set of stairs,

Proudly sat on every step,
Was a miniature of me,
‘We are the Puddlejumpers,
And we’re inviting you to tea!’

We live in the deepest puddles,
Looking to find a queen,
To rule our watery kingdom,
And you’re the best we’ve seen!’

They gave me a crown and sceptre,
A long velvet flowing cloak,
Then sat me on a liquid throne,
I thought it was a joke!

Surely, all this can not be true,
I humbly now protested,
I only went out shopping,
And now I’m being invested,

They shook their heads, bowing low,
Saying everything was fine,
At last they’d found a monarch,
So, now its time to dine.

In came grapes with fondant ice,
And plates of sumptuous fayre,
‘Eat it all up and drink your fill,
There is no need to share’,

Aware that I was peckish,
I tucked into the feast,
Enjoying every mouthful,
It really was a treat,

Feeling tired after all that food,
My head began to drop,
I fell into the deepest sleep,
Before I checked the clock,

When I awoke, there was no one there,
I felt shivery and quite bleak,
I was lying on a pavement,
And I couldn’t even speak,

Yet resting there beside me,
As I lay there in a fever,
Was a empty litre bottle,
Of the finest old Tequila,

So the moral of this story, is –
Never drink and shop together,
And if you must, before you do,
Make sure you check the weather!

Poem By Lorraine Weightman, Illustration by Fr J Bagnall ©