If Pope Leo Was From Consett: Celebrating Seventy

If Pope Leo was born in Consett,
He’d have been in my class at school.
We’d have both gone to St Patrick’s,
Obeying every single rule.

Excelling at the catechism,
He would have been an altar boy,
The best player on the football team,
And, as always, the teacher’s joy.

He would be my good friend Robert,
Though I’d prefer to call him Bob.
He’d be picked to be the milk monitor,
Because he’d do a decent job.

He’d help me with my maths homework,
Because I couldn’t do my sums.
I’d say thank you by going to Maynards,
And buying bags of mixed wine gums.

But then he’d move to Chicago,
And we’d have to say goodbye.
I wouldn’t understand his going,
But now we know the reason why.

He was destined for greater things,
Much more spiritual than us.
He became an Augustinian,
After passing his eleven plus.

On May 8th, he was elected Pope,
That canny little lad.
Which just goes to show that
Our town can’t be that bad.

I know I’ve made this whole poem up,
So before you ridicule,
Remember—
If Pope Leo had been born in Consett,
He’d have been in my class at school.

✍️ By Lorraine Weightman
🎨 Illustration by Fr John Bagnall