A “True” Story By Lorraine Weightman.
The other day, just before closing time I was out shopping in a local store looking for a gravy jug. I stooped down to explore the bottom shelf and retrieved the last one on display. It was a little dusty but at a mere £1.99, it seemed like a real bargain. Taking it to the nice lady behind the counter, I mentioned its condition. She immediately knocked £1.00 off the price. Popping it in my bag I returned home with my 99 pence prize!
Placing it on the bench beside the sink, I began preparing dinner for the following evening, when my friends were arriving. I had a lovely lamb roast in mind to place in the slow cooker and simmer overnight. I also decided to prep the vegetables and leave them in the fridge ready to cook the next day.
Making myself a cup of coffee – as I had run out of wine – I left the dishes until later and watched the evening news.
Nothing much was happening and the coffee wasn’t working, so I decided to nip out to the shop for a small bottle of Tequila.
On my return, after filling a tumbler of my favourite drink – the litre bottle being on special, so I couldn’t resist – Feeling a little guilty I decided to make a start and wash the dishes before settling down for the evening.
I began with the ones in the sink, leaving them on the drainer to dry, then noticed my new purchase looking forlorn, dusty, and unwashed on the bench. Picking it up, I rubbed it gently before immersing it in the bubbles.
There was an almighty flash and a roaring whooshing sound that filled the whole kitchen. I was completely covered in dish water and soaked to the skin, while the floor was awash with a tsunami of soapy suds!
Regaining my balance and holding onto the edge of the sink for dear life; I just managed to stop myself from floating into the garden through the open kitchen door.
In the moment I felt myself being grabbed from behind, a huge arm lifting me out of the bubbling sea of foam.
Feeling quite lightheaded and unable to fathom out what was happening, I closed my eyes and went with the flow. Slowly, I could sense the waters receding, yet I was still being held in someone’s arms! Eventually the sound of washing waves of water stopped and for a split second I felt faint, yet forced myself awake.
That’s when I saw his face, with its beautiful wide smile. Still perplexed, I looked into his eyes inquiringly.
Was I really face to face with Aquaman!?
‘You’re Jason Momoa, in my kitchen’, I squealed,
‘Ah, everyone gets us mixed up’ he grinned,
‘I’m The Genie of the Gravy Boat, and I’m here to introduce you to your dream partner’
‘I think I’ve just found him’,
I drooled, as he produced The Enchanted Trident of Neptune!
‘Make a wish Lorraine, you can pick from anyone in the entire universe’
I thought for a couple of seconds, then replied, ‘I choose you – do you like Tequila?’
Gravy Boat Genie rested his trident against the door in the living room and grinned.
‘It happens to be my favourite beverage’, he laughed,
‘This day is turning out just the way I hoped it would!’
We clinked glasses and sat side by side on the sofa.
‘That’s the best 99 pence I’ve spent in my life’, I whispered under my breath,
Bottoms Up!
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I really enjoy reading your stories in the magazine and always pick one up when shopping.
Thank you for making me smile 😊
Lily Emberson thank you so much xx