A Story By Lorraine Weightman.
I like shopping In Tesco, not only for the points on my club card but also because the aisles are wide and it’s easy to manoeuvre and manage a trolley.
This week I made my way straight to the fruit and vegetable aisle and as I browsed the potatoes looking for Maris piper, I saw a green flash before my eyes and something disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. Removing my glasses I looked for any fingerprints that may have marred my vision. It was then I heard the voice.
‘I suppose you’ll be wanting your three wishes now you’ve seen me!?’
Repositioning my spectacles, I noticed to my surprise, a tiny man in a green suit with a shock of red hair and a beard.
‘Be quick about it, I haven’t got all day’
he barked in quick succession.
Luckily the shop was busy, so I leaned in closer as if examining the potatoes, whispering,
‘Are you a Leprechaun?’
‘What gave you that idea?,’
He replied sarcastically,
‘Did the green top hat give it away?’
He gave a mischievous grin and I warmed to him instantly.
Picking up the bag of potatoes with him sitting on top, I placed them in my trolley and resumed shopping. We chatted about all sorts of things on the way round and when we finally reached the checkout, he disappeared.
Bemused and disorientated I made my way to the carpark thinking I may have imagined the whole thing, yet there he was in the trolley park making faces at people as they passed by.
‘Don’t worry, only you can see me’
he laughed
When we arrived home, he made himself comfortable on the sofa, picked up the remote control, and switching on Homes Under the Hammer; asked for a pot of tea and a whiskey chaser.
Still in a state of shock I provided him with his requests. Luckily I had a mini tea and picnic set belonging to my granddaughters, so was able to accommodate him.
Unpacking my shopping, I began to think about my three wishes.
I’d quite like new kitchen cupboards, a replacement roof, and an outside barbecue, I thought, as I fried the bacon and eggs my little friend had just requisitioned. Then again, all these things could be bought easily, I’d have to think of something really special so as not to waste my wishes.
Buttering the crumpets and opening the tin of beans to add to his breakfast. I retrieved the chopping board to start making dinner for later – apparently Irish Stew takes some preparation – he was shouting out the instructions from the sofa – and a list of things I needed for Colcannon!
As Bargain Hunt was about to start, I carried in the food and placed it on the side table next to Seán the Leprechaun.
He nodded a thank you then I retreated back the kitchen to continue my dinner prep.
Suddenly realising I had a strange little man in my home demanding to be waited on hand and foot, I came to my senses, and walking back in, I challenged his behaviour.
Raising himself up to to his maximum height, he exclaimed that as soon as I’d made my mind up, only then would he be gone. But while he was here I was obliged to look after him.
This is a bit of a predicament. I must choose wisely, I thought, as I whisked the butter milk and eggs together to make the soda bread; while retrieving a can of Guinness and a small glass to quench the thirst of my guest.
Then it came to me. I asked if I could be teleported to the end of the rainbow and back again.
No problem, he replied
‘And your second wish Lorraine?’
‘Can I hold the pot of gold?’
I asked tentatively
‘Now that’s a tricky one, I’ll have to think about it,’
Seán mused.
‘Would you like custard with your apple cake?’
‘Ah go on then, sure it can come to no harm, yes, you can hold my pot of gold!
And your third wish Lorraine?’
‘Can I save that for when we get to the end of the rainbow?’
I asked, pouring him another shot of whiskey to go with his Baileys Irish Cream.
‘It’s uncustomary but I’ll do it, seeing as you’re being so kind to me!’
Seán winked, as he necked his drinks and handed me the empty glasses.
‘We can go after dinner tonight unless you want to wait until after breakfast tomorrow.’
‘Tonight will be fine’
I quickly answered back, as I realised this little guy was eating me out of house and home.
After I’d washed all the dishes and tidied up after dinner.
I awoke Seán from his sleep, as he’d just polished off a bag of Maltesers and a packet of Ringtons ginger biscuits, washed down with 2 bottles of Hobgoblin he found in the fridge.
Within seconds we were flying through the air, and then almost miraculously a beautiful aura surrounded us and we landed softly at the end of the rainbow.
Immediately clocking the pot of gold I ran towards it and lifted it up.
‘And for my third wish I’d like to change the gold into an everlasting pot of tequila’
I announced proudly.
Sean’s face twisted with astonishment, but by Leprechaun rules he was bound to grant my wish. Unfortunately I didn’t know the other rule that they can’t be separated from their treasure.
So, if you ever come to visit me; you’ll see my everlasting tequila pot in my kitchen and a funny little man sitting on my sofa, demanding bacon and eggs!
