Thinking I was really good,

I went and bought a sack of spuds,

To feed myself and mine alone,

While we hibernate at home.


Day 1, I roasted them with oil,

after they were on the boil,

presented them with good fresh greens,

and half a pan baked aubergine.


Day 2, I dauphinoised the slices,

with milk, and creamy cheesy slices,

I served them up with ham and peas,

and a bit of mustard – gently squeezed.


Day 4, I baked them in the oven,

with croutons and a little mutton,

a frozen M&S dessert,

some double cream – just a squirt!


Day 5’s tortilla with added eggs,

onions and tomato bread,

complimented a red Rioja,

and a steaming caffè mocha.


Day 6, I plumped for lots of mash,

with cold corned beef to make a hash,

I opened two small tins of beans,

and a couple of packets of custard creams.


Day 7, I made a pan of chips,

two fried eggs with the crispy bits,

washed it down with Advocaat

and 4 and a quarter chocolate bars.


Day 8, feeling adventurous,

I made another pan of chips.

I placed them in some buttered bread

slapped on some sauce, and went to bed


Day 8, I boiled them in their skins,

threw in some butter and opened the gin,

lay on the sofa in one big heap,

and fell into a fitful sleep.


Day 9, I cut them and ate them raw,

I don’t like potatoes any more,

I folded up the half filled sack,

put on a stamp and sent it back!


Lorraine Weightman

Get CONSETT MAGAZINE straight to your inbox.

* indicates required


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here