Thinking I was really good,
I went and bought a sack of spuds,
To feed myself and mine alone,
While we hibernate at home.
Day 1, I roasted them with oil,
after they were on the boil,
presented them with good fresh greens,
and half a pan baked aubergine.
Day 2, I dauphinoised the slices,
with milk, and creamy cheesy slices,
I served them up with ham and peas,
and a bit of mustard – gently squeezed.
Day 4, I baked them in the oven,
with croutons and a little mutton,
a frozen M&S dessert,
some double cream – just a squirt!
Day 5’s tortilla with added eggs,
onions and tomato bread,
complimented a red Rioja,
and a steaming caffè mocha.
Day 6, I plumped for lots of mash,
with cold corned beef to make a hash,
I opened two small tins of beans,
and a couple of packets of custard creams.
Day 7, I made a pan of chips,
two fried eggs with the crispy bits,
washed it down with Advocaat
and 4 and a quarter chocolate bars.
Day 8, feeling adventurous,
I made another pan of chips.
I placed them in some buttered bread
slapped on some sauce, and went to bed
Day 8, I boiled them in their skins,
threw in some butter and opened the gin,
lay on the sofa in one big heap,
and fell into a fitful sleep.
Day 9, I cut them and ate them raw,
I don’t like potatoes any more,
I folded up the half filled sack,
put on a stamp and sent it back!
Lorraine Weightman