What day is it? I look for my phone,
I know – yesterday was Sunday,
I went to Mass in my dressing gown,
So today – it must be Monday!
Monday my writing group’s on Zoom,
We meet about one thirty,
I host it straight from my living room
But sometimes the screen goes blurry.
Tuesday’s, I talk to my folks in Oz,
On Messenger through my Ipad,
It’s great to see them, just because,
They’re all great and hilariously mad!
Then, I plan the rest of my day,
Should I wash the kitchen floor?
Or, crack open the Tanqueray?
Perhaps, wait until half past four!
Wednesday is the day for the bins,
Dragged out to the cul-de-sac,
I spray them before they come back in,
With Dettol and AntiBac!
For twenty seconds I soap my hands,
Then I do it again, twice more,
Perhaps I’ll learn to do handstands,
Did I wash the kitchen floor?
I’ll be clapping outside on Thursday’s,
Along with all of my neighbours,
Bearing witness with a grand display,
of thanks, to the brave key workers.
Did I finish that course on OpenLearn,
on how to pronounce Mandarin?
Shall I cut my hair or try a home perm?
Enough of these shenanigans!!
As Fridays’s nearly the weekend,
I attempt to go out to the shop,
At the Co-op I get my dividend,
wearing a mask made out of old socks.
Home with my bags, dropped by the door,
Ready to be washed in the sink,
I disinfect each surface, even the floor,
Then pour myself a big drink.
On Saturdays, I have a few treats,
Extra glasses of wine and crisps,
Which explains why I’m not that petite,
The calories go straight to my hips.
I settle down to watch the TV,
Eating a packet of petit fours,
Yet my mind feels some unease,
Did I wash the kitchen floor?
The next day I wake up early,
relieved another week has passed,
I’m grateful for small mercies,
yet wonder how long this will last.
We’re told Sunday is a day of rest,
It’s my favourite day, hands down,
And the thing I like about it best,
Is, I go to Mass in my dressing gown!
Lorraine Weightman
April 27th 2020